


nights are less lonely with you by my side

by orphan_account



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Angst, M/M, i guess, its pretty trash but like, markhyuck, markhyuck talk about mark graduating, thats about it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-17
Updated: 2018-01-17
Packaged: 2019-03-05 22:25:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,314
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13397541
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: donghyuck doesn’t want mark to leave, and vice versa.





	nights are less lonely with you by my side

**Author's Note:**

> this is just my interpretation..please dont take it too seriously but anyways its short n not that good but i thought id share

it’s unspoken, really. neither of them want to bring it up, want to face it, because are they really human if they don’t skirt around the uneasiness, the uncertainty of the future? if they don’t focus on everything good, don’t grip it tightly like a lifeline, like it’s the only thing keeping them going when the waves pull them under? 

mark and donghyuck are stuck, stuck in the present, on what’s happening. donghyuck knows this a little too well. 

donghyuck tries not to think about it, but the thought acts as an intruder, prying open his mind piece by piece, taking root in all of his insecurities and doubts, using them to build a home. most nights he lays awake, when mark’s fallen asleep long before, trying to swallow any uneasiness. it doesn’t work, just leaves him more tired than usual. if mark seems to notice, he doesn’t say anything. neither of them do. 

he holds himself together when mark’s around, but that isn’t anything new. he’s always doing this, keeping up the smiles and jokes. maybe if he plays the act long enough, it’ll come to life. maybe he and mark will be okay, if he keeps it up. he only falls apart when no one’s looking, when he’s in the shower and his tears mix with the water and steam, when he’s the only one lying awake at night. he lets himself crumple, lets the waves surround him from every direction, lets all of the fears and worries spill into his mind.

someone brings up renjun’s birthday, how he’s turning 18 soon, and donghyuck’s looking over at mark before he even has a chance to think about it. selfish, he thinks, how he’s more worried about mark leaving than renjun, jeno even. mark just shakes his head slightly in response, almost imperceptible to everyone else, but not to donghyuck. he knows him so well, could map out every feature, every flaw and quirk without even being asked. later, mark mouths, adding a small smile when he sees donghyuck’s expression turns into panic.

later, turns out to be when everyone else is asleep, and mark slips into bed next to donghyuck. it’s natural, the way mark wraps his arms around his waist and lets donghyuck curl up into him. donghyuck’s own arms move around mark’s waist, and he suddenly feels very close to him. mark silently presses a kiss against donghyuck’s forehead, pulling back to give him a sad smile. “are we gonna be okay?” donghyuck asks, voice small as he looks up at mark. “of course.” mark responds carefully, but there’s a downwards tilt in his tone, the slightest of frowns on his features. “we should’ve talked about this a long time ago, huh?” the sad smile is back, and donghyuck feels dizzy. “i don’t want you to leave.” donghyuck blurts out. “and i know it’s selfish of me.” he continues, removing his hands from mark’s waist to cover his own face. mark lets out the softest sigh, gently pulling donghyuck’s hands away. he laces their hands together, tightly, so that donghyuck can’t pull his away. “i don’t wanna leave. graduate. whatever.” mark confesses, and donghyuck feels his heart ache when he realizes he hadn’t even considered how mark, all smiles and happiness, mark, the one who always looks after them, no matter how tiring it is, must feel.

“we’ll be okay. it’s okay.” mark’s voice cracks, and donghyuck unlaces their hands to cup his face, to wipe away the tears that are falling. “we’ll be okay.” donghyuck repeats, and he lets mark curl into him, his body trembling just the slightest bit. donghyuck blinks back his own tears, but refuses to let them fall. they can’t both fall apart. donghyuck can’t fall apart, not when mark’s put him back together so many times. it’s his turn, now. 

“we still have 127.” mark’s voice is muffled from donghyuck’s shirt, where he’d buried his face once he started crying. donghyuck’s hand skims his back, lightly touching the bumps on his spine. “we’ll still see each other. right?” mark asks desperately, and donghyuck doesn’t know if he can answer. he can feel the lump in his throat growing, making the words difficult to come out. “right, donghyuck?” he repeats, pulling away to look up at him. “right, hyung.” donghyuck answers, his voice strained. “i’ve just been thinking about you, what it’ll be like to leave you. i haven’t even considered everyone else.” mark admits, and donghyuck feels relief, relief that turns into guilt for giving in to his selfish thoughts, for relishing in the fact that he wasn’t the only one who had them. “me too. we’re horrible.” donghyuck mumbles, and mark just nods in response. there isn’t much to say, after all. 

it hangs over them, even after that night. donghyuck feels like he’s suffocating, most of the time, the thought practically unbearable.

he spends hours in the practice room, despite them not having any schedules or a comeback approaching. it’s a distraction, from the inevitable. he pushes himself to the limit, wondering what’ll happen if he finally cracks, if the worn strings holding his bones together finally snap. 

he doesn’t even notice mark entering, not until the music stops and all he can hear is his heart roaring in his ears. mark doesn’t say anything, just makes his way to where donghyuck collapsed on the ground, handing him a cold water bottle. it reminds him of all the times he did the same thing to mark, back before their debut. “thank you.” he forces out, trying to smile up at mark. “you have to take better care of yourself, you know.” mark scolds gently, holding out his hand to donghyuck, who accepts it. mark helps him to his feet, hugging him tightly. “i’m all sweaty.” donghyuck points out, trying to pull away. “that’s okay. i just wanna hug you.” mark mumbles, resting his head in the crook of donghyuck’s neck. while you still can, donghyuck thinks, and he can feel the tears forming in his eyes. “stop pushing yourself so much. get some rest. eat.” mark urges, stepping back. he brushes a strand of hair from donghyuck’s eyes, giving him that familar smile, the one that makes donghyuck’s heart race, even after all this time.

“lets go home, yeah?” home. the thought makes donghyuck sad, but he still accepts mark’s outstretched hand, smiling all the while. donghyuck leans into mark’s side, wrapping both of his arms around him, letting mark lovingly ruffle his hair. it’s familiar, comforting. it all comes so naturally, with mark. 

donghyuck looks over at mark, feeling a surge of warmth and love for the person walking next to him. he stares at his eyes, the slight curl of his lips, the one that’s always there whenever mark is happy, the faint pink on his cheeks. donghyuck wants to remember it all, engrain every feature into his memory. 

he tries to remember what it was exactly that made him fall in love with mark, whether it was the way he laughed or the long nights they spent together, talking about all the fears and worries they couldn’t utter during the day, how they sought comfort in the dark. maybe it was how passionate he was, how his eyes gleamed whenever he danced, no matter how many times they had to redo a certain part of the choreography. maybe it was how easy everything was with mark, how they connected so easily, how they fit like puzzle pieces. maybe it doesn’t matter.

nights are less quiet, now.

they face each other almost always, legs over legs and hands in hands. donghyuck can feel mark’s heartbeat from where his head is resting on his chest, slow and rhythmic. 

“we’re gonna be okay.” mark whispers, and donghyuck believes him, believes him with every bone in his body.

they’re going to be okay.


End file.
